Short Circuits

Friday, November 19, 2010 at 9:48 AM

This is the beginning of a new tangle.  I woke up, made some coffee and sat down to tangle a little before I go out to do a final cleanup on the patio.  My hands tremble more than usual this morning...so it this pattern is quite different than Suzanne McNeil's "River."  I had difficulty making the pen go where I wanted.
 
The neurologist at the MS Clinic told me this week that my brain has short circuits.  There is nothing they can do for it. 
 
Sipping my coffee as I "drew" the lines, I was feeling bad about the evidence of my impaired small motor control staring back at me.  I used to have perfect control over my lines and my writing. I used to do calligraphy, used to teach it to others at craft classes.  These days, I even type, Post-it notes because my writing is so bad. 
 
A friend sends me daily horoscopes, just for fun, and the email arrived with today's horoscope.  What a shock I had when I read the subject line.   It is Friday.  I did not go to work today, thinking it was Saturday.  I knew the day last night, I was confused this morning.  Will have to start leaving notes on the night table so I am told what day it is when I wake up.  I called in sick...I can't let them know.

Posted via email from How Heather Sees it

THE ARROGANCE OF AUTHORITY

at 5:21 AM
 
A DEA officer stops at a ranch in Texas, and talks with an old rancher. He tells the rancher, "I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs." The rancher says, "Okay , but don't go in that field over there," as he points out the location.

 The DEA officer verbally explodes saying, " Mister,  I have the authority of the Federal Government with me."  Reaching into his rear pants pocket, he removes his badge and proudly displays it to the rancher.  "See this badge?  This badge means I am allowed to go wherever I wish.... On any land.  No questions asked or answers given.  Have I made myself clear?  Do you understand? "

 The rancher nods politely, apologizes, and goes about his chores.

 A short time later, the old rancher hears loud screams and sees the DEA officer running for his life chased by the rancher's big Santa Gertrudis bull......

  With every step the bull is gaining ground on the officer, and it seems likely that he'll get gored  before he reaches safety. The officer is clearly terrified. The rancher throws down his tools, runs to the fence and yells at the top of his lungs...

 
" Your badge. Show him your BADGE !"

 

   

 

"

  

Posted via email from HappenChance

The Cut

Tuesday, November 16, 2010 at 9:47 AM

. . . must be clean. The tool must be sharp and the debris swept away for the healing to occur. 

Posted via email from How Heather Sees it

Be Careful Where You Buy A Puppy

Tuesday, November 2, 2010 at 7:07 PM
This dear little fellow came home with my son and his wife on Saturday evening...a Boston Terrier. They drove from Toronto to Cambridge to pick him up at what they thought was the breeder's home.

He was fine when they arrived home and we all gathered to welcome him. He was a delightful little thing, happy to meet everyone and very loving. Glenn gave him his meal and he gobbled it down along with a few laps of water. He seemed fine. We all fell in love with him at first sight.

The vomiting and diarrhea began next morning. It wasn't very bad so they packed him up and came over to my house for dinner as previously planned. As the afternoon went on I wondered why he slept so much. The few times he got up he had diaharrea and went back to sleep. Then he began to vomit again. Glenn and Grace offered water which he didn't want, then Grace dropped water in his mouth with her finger. Vomiting and diarrhea, both with blood, continued during the night. Next morning Glenn took him to the vet who thought he probably had parasites. They took a stool sample and sent him home with medicine.

The puppy didn't improve with the medicine, he became more listless; the diarrhea and vomiting with blood continued. With all the vomiting it is likely the he didn't absorb any of the drugs. Back at the vet again this morning, the puppy may have parvo-virus. Glenn could not hold back tears at the vet...he cannot afford the test ($700) and was very upset he might have to put the dog down. The vet said not to give up hope and sent him home after two injections. They took a stool sample and are testing that. ($200) If the dog has this virus the treatment is thousands of dollars and offers a 50% chance he will live.

They signed a paper when they took the dog, from what they thought was the breeder, saying they understood the breeder was not responsible if anything was wrong with the dog other than congenital defects. The dog was very sick within 24 hours, with what has to be a previously existing condition that is highly contagious and they are not responsible? Glenn had called to let the "breeder" know the dog was very sick.

Grace called again today to tell them she wanted her money back and reimbursement for the medical expenses. She found out these people are not the breeders, they are a transfer house (what is that?) and the dog comes from a breeder in London Ontario. Sounds like a puppy mill to me. What a nightmare this has become.

I am thinking they should go back to Cambridge, demand a refund and medical expenses and if they do not get it, go to the police and CTV and Global news. They might be interested in visiting this "breeder" in London.

The puppy is even worse this evening.

Posted via email from How Heather Sees it

First Zentangles . . . this is going to be fun

Saturday, August 28, 2010 at 11:23 AM
It is so meditative, I love doing these. I am still stiff and a bit awkward but this will improve and I think it is even therapeutic. My hands shake but using them on fine work will help me recover some fine motor skills . . . I hope. Thanks a BUNCH for getting me started Kit!

Posted via email from How Heather Sees it

Movie Time...Eat, Pray, Love

Thursday, August 26, 2010 at 1:36 PM
It has been a while since I went to the movies. Tuesday night is the night
to go around here so I picked up my bag of Wine Gums at Wal-Mart and we saw
Eat Pray Love at a nearby theatre. I enjoyed the wine gums...can't say as
much for the movie.

I had read a review in the weekend paper that made me look forward to food
porn and a good story. Neither happened in the movie. I didn't connect
with anything and at the end of the movie her life had changed, maybe, but
I had no idea how or why it happened. Some man we barely knew seemed to
have made an impact on her but I thought she was trying to "not need a man"
throughout the movie. The food scenes were not so great, didn't make me
hungry in the least. City scenes were ugly. Chanting in the Hindu places
looked like chaos with people laughing and clapping. Nothing spiritual at
all but I got the feeling it was intended to be.

A friend at the office told me next day the book was better. I just can't
say enough bad things about this movie...but as I said earlier, the wine
gums were good!

Thoughts in the night

Saturday, June 12, 2010 at 12:01 AM
Maybe the worst is over...it is 3:30 AM and my head is clear. My vision is
not but that will come. I woke up in a panic thinking about MS and how my
life has changed. I haven't come to terms with it. The worst isn't over at
all...it is perhaps only beginning. Why do I have it? This wasn't my plan
at all. I turned 60 at the end of May and had planned to retire and travel.
Why doesn't the College of Radiologists, the government, the MS Society, the
medical community in general embrace a cure that seems to be working on so
many? Why are they trying to squash it? Why are they shutting down
studies, testing, closing doors when they should be opening them? I don't
have time to wait for this.

A few hours on a warm rock

Friday, June 11, 2010 at 7:25 AM
Paul brought me down to the beach yesterday afternoon. He said even if we just sit in the car, it would be good sunshine and a change of scenery...he helped me over to the rocks, which were warm and I sat there for a couple of hours, feeling the wind in my hair and face, watching sunbathers, and people walk their dogs and listening to the lake--all through bleary eyes and ears.

I began to feel some energy return and was happy for that. My vision is still very bad and I am weak. Mostly, it feels like I am drunk, totally stoned drunk--but my thinking is not drunk-- and the only thing I have had is my medicine.

Paul is still calling and reaching people who can help get me into a study. Many people will not talk to him but he keeps trying and has made a lot of progress. Stanford, Buffalo, Barrie and Bulgaria (the doctor in Bulgaria is working with the Italian doctor who discovered the Liberation treatment for his wife) are places I may have a chance to be seen. He is also calling people in the Canadian Government.

This morning I took 14 prednisone pills and a Xantac to settle the tummy. My head is eventually going to clear and I will feel better.

Solu-Medrol Treatment for MS

Tuesday, June 8, 2010 at 9:31 AM
I would never do this treatment outside a hospital again--it is really scary. I am weak and shaking, have lost a lot of vision, brain is often fogged up, I have lost balance and for some reason, my neck is very sore. They say it will all clear. I was glad to see the end of the intravenous bags, the stent has been removed. I was worried about taking the pills this morning, 20 Prednisone 5 mg, but I ate as much breakfast as I could and got them down. No problems. Two less pills tomorrow and so on. I should start to feel better every day and my head will clear.

Mostly I have been so wiped out, I just sleep. Cannot focus on reading or television but music keeps me in a good place. Brahms, rich, beautiful and has no ear worms in it.

CCSVI (I may have the letters out of order) Testing & Treatment is going to be difficult to get. They have stopped testing in Montreal at the request of the College of Radiologists. Barry is swamped and if I can get in, it won't be until March 2011. Trying other hospitals and universities in the US...well not me, a friend is doing it for me. When you cannot carry the load it is so good to have someone carry the things you can't. My sons and daughter-in-law have been a great support too.

I appreciate your prayers.

Didn't get to the BBQ

Sunday, June 6, 2010 at 1:06 AM

My homecare nurse walked in this morning and first thing she said was in surprise, "this is supposed to be helping you." I was very unsteady on my feet and my vision was worse. She warned me not to drive today...she didn't need to! I slept for hours after being hooked up to the new bag and woke up feeling even worse. I had only a little center vision and could barely stand. Slept most of the afternoon. I couldn't go to the bbq but Craig came over for a while. I liked the shirt he was wearing.

The brain fog began to clear about 6:00 PM but my vision is still not good. I have a little more energy right now. I cannot go to work like this on Monday. two more IVs to go and then I start the pills and the dose will diminish every day. This treatment is going to help me.

Thanks for all your encouragement and kind wishes.

Posted via email from How Heather Sees it

Didn't get to the BBQ

Saturday, June 5, 2010 at 9:06 PM
My homecare nurse walked in this morning and first thing she said was in
surprise, "this is supposed to be helping you." I was very unsteady on my
feet and my vision was worse. She warned me not to drive today...she didn't
need to! I slept for hours after being hooked up to the new bag and woke up
feeling even worse. I had only a little center vision and could barely
stand. Slept most of the afternoon. I couldn't go to the bbq but Craig
came over for a while. I liked the shirt he was wearing.

The brain fog began to clear about 6:00 PM but my vision is still not good.
I have a little more energy right now. I cannot go to work like this on
Monday. two more IVs to go and then I start the pills and the dose will
diminish every day. This treatment is going to help me.

Thanks for all your encouragement and kind wishes.

A harder day than expected

at 12:07 AM

But it will get better, they promise me.

Homecare nurse arrived before 8:00 AM, I went out to meet her in the parking
lot because it is a little difficult to find this place first time. She set
the pump up and gave me instructions and her telephone number in case
anything went wrong. Driving to the office the alarm began to beep and I
went in with the alarm sounding. Called her and she talked me through
resetting it. Air bubbles had collected and had to be cleared. I was
afraid of the pump. Two more calls to the Nurse and 4 hours later, I am no
longer afraid of the pump.

Side effects began to be apparent right away. I lost vision during the day
in the upper regions of my eyes. I was less steady on my feet and knew I
would be unable to drive home. Called my son who said he would be there to
drive me home at 3:30. I got outside at the appointed time and waited
twenty minutes, hanging onto a post but he didn't show up. I went back
inside to call him and he was standing in line at the bank. I fell apart.
I was so exhausted.

Lynda, a friend in the office, came over towards my desk and I was crying.
I shooed her away, sympathy at that time would have made me totally loose
it. I apologized to her later. She understood and was very
encouraging...more tears. Tears just keep coming. Depression is apparently
one of the side effects of this medication and perhaps the reason for the
tears. I have lost 14 lbs on a diet recently. The saline solution used the
past two days has made me regain 4 lbs. Discouraging. I have to see this
through because it will help.

Many people have offered encouragement in the comments at my last post and I
thank each one of you for the emotional support. I am just too tired to
respond right now but I will...it is going to get better here.

Tomorrow I am going to a family bbq at my daughter-in-law's parents
home--after the third iv has finished. I hope to enjoy the day and I look
forward to it very much.

Posted via email from How Heather Sees it

A harder day than expected

Friday, June 4, 2010 at 8:07 PM
But it will get better, they promise me.

Homecare nurse arrived before 8:00 AM, I went out to meet her in the parking
lot because it is a little difficult to find this place first time. She set
the pump up and gave me instructions and her telephone number in case
anything went wrong. Driving to the office the alarm began to beep and I
went in with the alarm sounding. Called her and she talked me through
resetting it. Air bubbles had collected and had to be cleared. I was
afraid of the pump. Two more calls to the Nurse and 4 hours later, I am no
longer afraid of the pump.

Side effects began to be apparent right away. I lost vision during the day
in the upper regions of my eyes. I was less steady on my feet and knew I
would be unable to drive home. Called my son who said he would be there to
drive me home at 3:30. I got outside at the appointed time and waited
twenty minutes, hanging onto a post but he didn't show up. I went back
inside to call him and he was standing in line at the bank. I fell apart.
I was so exhausted.

Lynda, a friend in the office, came over towards my desk and I was crying.
I shooed her away, sympathy at that time would have made me totally loose
it. I apologized to her later. She understood and was very
encouraging...more tears. Tears just keep coming. Depression is apparently
one of the side effects of this medication and perhaps the reason for the
tears. I have lost 14 lbs on a diet recently. The saline solution used the
past two days has made me regain 4 lbs. Discouraging. I have to see this
through because it will help.

Many people have offered encouragement in the comments at my last post and I
thank each one of you for the emotional support. I am just too tired to
respond right now but I will...it is going to get better here.

Tomorrow I am going to a family bbq at my daughter-in-law's parents
home--after the third iv has finished. I hope to enjoy the day and I look
forward to it very much.

It started with a little tingle on my tongue

at 12:01 AM
In October. I couldn't see anything in the mirror and thought it might be a pimple. The tingling grew over a few weeks and covered half my tongue. By the time I spoke to my family doctor in November there was also a little numbness on my lips, right side, same side as the numbness/tingling on my tongue. He said it sounded neurological and sent me for a CAT scan, which came back showing something so he sent me for an MRI. None of this happened quickly, it took months. Finally in March I was sitting in a neurologists office and handed her the disc of my MRI. She opened it on her computer and she looked at it for a while then turned to me and said, MRIs are wonderful, they show you what is happening in your brain...but unfortunately they don't come with labels. It looks like MS, but it could be a few other things that I would like to test for just to rule them out. This could even be from drugs you are taking but there is an awful LOT of this so I doubt that. There appeared to be MS lesions in my brain. She set up blood tests, an evoked response test and another MRI of my spine.

I am still waiting for the second MRI but had to call her last week to let her know I didn't think I could wait to see her at end of June...symptoms were worsening. I feel like I am walking on a boat in rough water most of the time, my vision is giving me trouble and my brain feels like it is in a thick fog.

Sitting in her office this time, she told me the blood tests had ruled out Lupus and another thing. It appears to be MS. Since the symptoms began to worsen, I remembered feeling like this once before, 27 years ago when my son was beginning grade one. Brain fog and staggering gait...I thought the rose dust I had been using did it to me and went with the bottle to my doctor. He sent me up to the hospital and they kept me in.

I was crying because I was missing Craig's first day of grade one...they picked up on that and thought it was the problem...hysterical mom loosing her son. I insisted I wasn't like that but they sent in counselors. So frustrating.

One night, still in a corner of a room in emergency, I heard a woman in a bed telling a doctor her symptoms and they were like mine. They had already diagnosed her with MS. I can't remember how long I was in hospital, it was under two weeks and they took CAT scan, other tests, found nothing. On the day they sent me home they took a spinal tap and did not tell me to lie down for the rest of the day resulting in an agonizing headache that lasted days. They sent me home instead, telling me to eat more, gain weight and relax. Two weeks later I was back for a check up and they told me it wasn't MS. Gain weight, relax.

Over many weeks the symptoms lessened and over the years I forgot about them, mostly. The episode did bring about a spiritual rebirth, I became a Christian, which is another story that I won't tell here.

I thought of all this again over the past few weeks as my symptoms have been worsening and mentioned it to my neurologist this week. She said it was likely my first MS flare up, she took the details and will contact the hospital in Montreal. Even after 27 years, the records will be available.

She told me how they halt a flare-up now, large dose steroids, which I began today. They did the first iv in the hospital this morning and then I went to work. The remaining treatments will be done by a homecare nurse for the next 5 mornings before I go to work... next week I will take prednisone in large doses that gradually diminish. This will stop the flare-up and lessen the damage remaining.

She wants to talk about long term MS drugs when I go back in a few weeks. I want to talk about recent developments in MS research. An Italian doctor, researching MS because his wife had it, discovered angioplasty opens blocked veins that trap iron deposits in the brain which cause the MS lesions. With everyone they perform this procedure on, their symptoms disappear. I want to be part of a clinical study.

The Baxter box arrived tonight, packed with IV pump, and medicine. Homecare nurse will arrive between 7:00 and 9:00 AM then I will go to work and keep my wrist covered. I have seen them terminate many people because they were sick--didn't want to be saddled with the insurance costs or long term disability. Nothing personal, it's just business.

Posted via email from How Heather Sees it

My Perch

Sunday, May 16, 2010 at 9:03 AM

No Arms, No Legs, No Worries - Nick Vujicic, Motivational Speaker

Saturday, May 15, 2010 at 3:10 PM

Grieving Geese--Goslings Gone

at 10:12 AM
The geese left the lot with their young on Monday, a couple of days after they hatched. We missed them. Other years they move away from the nest but stay around the lot for a few weeks. It it might have been the road work that chased them. They returned yesterday but something was wrong...the goslings weren't with them and they were very distressed. They were on the small boulevard in the lot, searching, then flew up to the roof over the employee entrance for a while, making a terrible sound. We think the fox got their goslings. Can't blame or be angry with the fox--he was just being a fox. But we are so sad.

Posted via email from How Heather Sees it

No bathing suits in the lobby

Friday, May 14, 2010 at 11:51 PM

Mother Goose, A Happy Ending!

Sunday, May 9, 2010 at 10:51 AM
It all began on April 12 and ended happily on Friday, May 7.  Canadian Geese returned to our parking lot again this year.  They surveyed for a few days and finally, Mother Goose selected her nesting site . . . right near the entrance of our driveway.  Father became very protective, hissing at and chasing anyone who he felt had crossed the line he had invisibly established.  He knew exactly where it was and eventually we learned too.  

He spent a couple of days pecking at, and making small dents in, the cars parked near the nest.  Security solved the problem--they blocked the parking spaces closest to the nest and the geese were happier.  In the first days, some employees brought out styrofoam cups of water for the mother and someone tossed bread.  Real geese don't eat bread!  It isn't good for them.  I think Security may have advised the well intentioned employee because there were no further offerings.  We later noticed Mother Goose would disappear for a while in the mornings.  She flew over to the ravine where there is food and a creek . . . oh yes, and also a fox!  The fox appeared a couple of times in the parking lot but Father, fierce protector that he is, kept the nest safe. 

One morning, I saw Mother fly to the ravine at the end of the parking lot and was surprised both she and her mate would leave the nest at the same time especially with a fox in the area. The the nest appeared empty but inspecting the photo later, I saw the eggs were still in the nest--she had covered them with a mat of dirt and goose down.  She was sitting on them again when I checked at lunchtime.  We always hoped they remain safe through the weekends with few cars in the lot, and therefore few people around, which will gave the fox more opportunity.

Father greeted me in the parking lot entrance with an especially ugly hiss-s-s-s this Friday. He was very surly and aggressive as I inched the car by him, trying to be in the office on time without killing him. I wondered if he was irate that road work had started in the court overnight.  Mother was on the nest as usual.  Within the hour word spread quickly through the building, the goslings had hatched. Trudy called me and asked if I was going out to take photos of the goslings. I was out there in almost a flash!  Kathleen stood in my parking space (I didn't want to lose it) and I drove the car parallel to the nest.  The goslings were already out of the nest learning to walk.  They would take a few steps, fall down and try again.  It was a very happy scene!

I learned from our Payroll Departmet, that they had named the geese Lucy and Luc.  The goslings are Leroy, Lenore, Leo and I think Latisha!  (I may have to come back and correct the last one)

Father is relaxed, no longer hissing and surly.  They will abandon the nest over the weekend but we will still see them parading the goslings around the parking lot, getting them ready to for life, over the next few weeks.

Goslings, Mother, Father. . . and Teva Canada Employees all delighted and doing well!


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