Most trips home I return upset and depressed because of the state my mother is in but this time, she is in a home, fed, clean, dressed, hairdresser visits monthly, clothes laundered, pressed and folded. She doesn't say she is happy but when I told her she was looking so much better than she did last time her face brightened.
Mom has vascular dementia but thinks she is ok. She knows she can't live alone and cannot handle the house any longer. It has been sold. Most of her furniture went this week to people who needed it (Freecycle) and closing of the sale will be very soon. I am thankful she is handling it well, maybe in a bit of a blur, but she is accepting it. It has been a creepy feeling staying at Karen's and hearing telephone messages from the freecycle people who were interested in picking up some furniture...I knew we needed to get rid of it and we don't need it, this was the quickest and easiest way. But it still feels sad, and if she knew how her house is being emptied she would be upset, she would be grabbing and saving things, saying oh no, keep this, I need that. It is almost done now. She will never be able to live on her own again...this week makes it final and sad.
We picked my mom up every day and brought her to Karen's, and sometimes out to shop, she loves grocery stores most so we made sure she got to Loblaws... I wheeled her up and down the aisles and she chose items she wanted, like pickled beets that she can keep in her room and take down to the dining room for dinner. She was craving beets. Mealtime is an event at the home and her meals are very nice but sometimes missing some little thing she likes.
We went back to Loblaws next day for another jar of beets because she didn't want to run out! I assured her Karen would bring her beets any time she wants some...but going to the store herself to choose what she wants is something she still enjoys.
She no longer reads books as she used to but she likes to look at Readers Digest. I think reading at any level is good for her. I brought her a stack of them.
We are still looking at other homes. The one she is in was the best that was available when she needed it. A recreational therapist comes in a few days a week and there is also the odd bingo game that she enjoys. I'd just like to see her in a place that will keep her happy and somewhat more stimulated.
This is an adjustment for all of us.
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